I went for a motorcycle ride this morning. It was a little cooler than anticipated, so on one of my fuel stops, I went inside to warm up. A guy came up to me and asked about the bike. After I told him what it was, he said “I used to have a motorcycle, but then I had kids.”
I chose not acknowledge this statement, and he decided to continue, telling me that “The boss has given me permission to get another bike.”
That left a bad taste in my mouth.
If you weren’t into motorcycling enough to keep your motorcycle when your kids were born, that’s okay. Don’t blame your wife for recognizing your weakness. If your priorities changed, and you decided to give up motorcycling, that’s okay. Don’t blame it on the birth of your kids. Please stop emasculating yourself by telling me that your wife has to give you permission to do things.
If you rode a motorcycle while you and your wife were dating and she didn’t like it, you’re with the wrong woman. You should be accepted for who you are, not who she thinks she can make you. I’ve made any number of mistakes in my love life, but no potential partner has ever tried to get me to give up my motorcycles. They knew that it was a part of me that wasn’t going to change.
From Suzanne:
Blaming your partner for any choice of yours isn’t fair to either of you. Be man enough to own up to your choices. It’s healthy to have hobbies that don’t include your partner, but if you’re uncomfortable with one, the time to address it is before commitment. Women frequently complain that their partner’s claim they spend too much time with their girlfriends, shopping, or other “feminine” hobbies. Now imagine your newly committed partner asking you to stop all those.