At one time, I ran a blog called Fitterverse: A universe of fitness. This post originally appeared there. Thanks to the Wayback Machine, I’ve been able to recapture the text. I’ve published them here on their original publication dates.
Elaine Ori is a Certified Exercise Physiologist, Personal Trainer, Health Presenter, Group Instructor, Trainer of Trainers, graduate student in Media & Health Communications, and author of the blog Daily Choices Add Up.
It’s easy to look at a goal or aspiration as something available but difficult to reach. I see it often: clients, friends, family have achievements in mind, yet in the same breath cite a laundry list of challenges that may prevent them from realizing success. It is true we all have many things on our plates, and it is also true that we cannot always overcome them precisely as we wish.
There are moments that would have us throw up our arms and quit. Yet for anyone and everyone who has achieved something in life – who has succeeded in reaching a goal – you will find that quitting is not part of the plan. Instead of being frustrated, giving up or plain denouncing an intention at every hurdle, consider the many ways you can navigate a setback. Here are some tips and tricks I use for myself and with clients, that have helped to realize every goal comes with its own obstacle course… it’s how you choose to tackle it that will ultimately lead you to success.
Step back and reframe what you see. You have one perspective. I have another. Different points of view show different angles which can teach you alternative ways to reach a goal. I wanted to run a full marathon this year. After a hip injury and a verrrry slow recovery, that wasn’t shaping up to be possible. Instead of dwelling on the frustrating obstacle standing in my way (I couldn’t surpass 5k without pain), or considering that I’d failed at this goal, I weighed an alternate view: I was running 5k again – pain free! I could hike, and walk 15k, which means I’m on the mend. Maybe 2013 isn’t my year… 2014, 2015, 2016… they’re all there ready for me, when I am.
A few scraped knees have never stopped a child. I can’t remember the number of times I fell off my bike, skateboard or tripped over my own two feet. I cried, got a Band-Aid and went right back to what I was doing, determined to learn from my mistake. I see my nieces and nephews doing the same thing. Setbacks are opportunities to learn what you’ve done wrong, to sort out how to do it better, or become more comfortable with the task. If you quit every time you stumbled, you’d never have learned how to walk in the first place.
Be realistic about your goal. This one is paramount. Trying to lose weight but it’s just not happening as you would like it? Maybe you’re being too lofty. I have had numerous clients tell me they want to lose 50lbs before XYZ event… in 2 months! Not only is this unattainable (the healthy way), but the cost of that achievement may not be worth it. Figure out what your ultimate goal is, then break it down into daily, weekly and monthly fractions. This will help you stay on track, and prevent you from only seeing an overwhelming big picture.
Setbacks are extra challenges along the way. No one said the journey would be easy, but if you’re open and willing to learn as you grow, you may just find that you’re capable of a lot more than you initially thought. Many years ago a Type 1 diabetic patient of mine was struggling to find exercises that she could do without throwing her blood sugars out of whack. Instead of pushing through things or deciding she’d never be able to reach her intended goals we looked at the options. We slowed down her training program and learned about different foods and how they affected her; about which workouts threw her off, diabetically speaking. We took notes, spent time building and learning, and from it found out much more about her, her body and her ability to tolerate different activities.
Find your inner artiste. Ok maybe the world of goal setting doesn’t seem like something you’d find at the MET or the Louvre, but I tell you creativity comes in all shapes and sizes. Things pop up, life happens and your perfect scenario of work-workout-dinner-bed isn’t going to happen each and every day. Pre-planning creative solutions to life’s interruptions will help keep you on track and prevent you from seeing the dog’s untimely need for a vet as a setback in your training regimen. Consider running/cycling to work, having at-home back up workouts, short HIIT workouts (for those über busy days) or a family game of soccer as opportunities to stay on track when the universe is set on creating speed bumps.
Quit it with the self-pity parties. Time for some tough love, people. It’s easy to sit back and decide the world is against you in reaching your goal. To this I say dear friend: where there’s a will, there’s a way. When I was 20 I had decided it was time to lose weight after a few years of feeling like I was destined to be a “big girl.” Yet I was an undergrad with very little student funding. I worked full time and took full time science courses. Instead of deciding that healthy foods and workout time was off the table because poor-me-had-so-much-to-do-and-so-little-time-or-money, I came up with a plan. I worked out during my spares between classes, since I worked after school most days. I went to the grocery store every day/two so that I could buy only the things I needed for breakfast/lunch/dinner without any of it going to spoil. I budgeted, budgeted, budgeted; my time, my resources, my money. I also lost 60lbs.
If it was easy, everyone would do it. I am going get all cheesy and pop-culturey here because I think Ashton Kutcher hit the proverbial nail on the head: ‘opportunity looks a lot like hard work’. Amen to that, Ashton. If what stands between you and your goal is an obstacle of finance, time, ability, then you are the only one who can fix that. It’s going to be tough, there are going to be sacrifices, setbacks and hair-pulling days. My thesis supervisor reminds of this weekly. She also asks how much do you want it?
Be open to taking a different path. When I was told that I would have to give up some of the sports I loved because of a badly fractured ankle, I was devastated. I thought my ticket to all the opportunities I wanted were over. I was wrong. I found new sports, ones I’d never even considered. I enjoyed, excelled and have found a passion in them. I was open to trying new things and saw my painful, messy broken ankle as a message that there’s a whole world of things to do, see and learn; there is more than one way to summit a mountain.
I realize overcoming obstacles is challenging, but that’s all part of the journey. Looking at every set back as a reason to quit, is ultimately your choice. For everyone I’ve ever known who has completed a marathon, overcome cancer, finished a university degree, lost weight, become a national champion or an Olympian, there is an encyclopedia of moments when they could have given up. Instead they learned how to navigate these setbacks like an obstacle course, weaving in and out of hazards and finishing with pride. We all have bumps and bruises, scars and dark moments. We also have it in us to adjust our perspective, to overcome, to try again and to achieve.